Point to my ear and 'pen and paper'

At any shop, I usually point to my ear (I move my lip - 'DEAF' without a voice) and gestured 'pen paper... pen paper... pen paper...' with my eye raised to control my frustration. These hearing cashiers would drop their cheerful face to puzzled face, thinking they wished I was forced to go to Mary Hare.

I have been treated like a deaf and dumb child, one time at McDonald's, the cashier (he reminded me of my old dinner-ladies at the mainstream school) had a brief chat with 2 other cashiers while he get some food for me, they looked at me and then smiled at me like I was a cute black baby or something.

That cashier gave me food. I knew how much it was because I can see how much on the till front even if it weren't there, I still would know but he pointed at the till cheerfully like a mental patient. He apparently embarrassed me in front of other customers who may not know I am Deaf.. as if they might think I could be anything except Deaf.

I tried to control my frustration and give him the excat amount I paid. He looked at these for 5 seconds... his expression was like a miracle, making it sounds I can be able to count how much and pay - £2.38. Luckily he couldn't see my red face as Im black, I walked off... worse, he was smiling when I turned around. I would like to strangle his neck, he even may be still smiling!

What would happens if I speak flunetly? He might treat me like a hearing man (with a good breath!). Other cashiers and him could hand-shake and congratulate me for breaking my voice not BSL!

It would be much less frustrating and more intergrating for my Deaf grandchildren if BSL to be taught at all UK schools because most hearing expect us Deaf can understand them through speaking 100 PERCENT! I wonder how they feel if I expect them to understand me through flunet BSL. I know some hearing workers can sign basic BSL which I feel less uncomfortable and relaxable.

Not many Deaf people can speak very well, not same level as hearing. More like a working-class child voice or even can't sing! I can't imagine if an oral person try to sing in front of Simon Cowell.. ahem!

Imagine if BSL is legalised plus BSL taught at all UK schools long time ago, I wouldn't have to do the point to my ear/pen paper thing again. We would be treated equally.

In South America, I once asked a lovely woman for pen and paper, not because she is Deaf-impaired, not because she is GSL-impaired (Guyanese SL), not because she is ASL-impaired... because she signs in SEE!!! Signed Exact English! Ar-r-r-r-r-r-r-gh! She is hearing herself and Nigerian. Actually I met a person who uses SEE for the first time. I found this very very very uncomfortable because I had to follow her hands and lips at the same time (like I'm Deaf-impaired, look at hands) because I find it almost impossible to understand her if I look at her beautiful face.

She learned that from the BOOK and church in Nigeria. I don't know what situation over there. (One of new VSO (Voluntary Service Overseas) volunteers who is Deaf Canadian woman Christine will work with the Deaf-blind community in Nigeria this year. It wil be interesting to know more about her diary!)

She thought it would help Deaf people to literate through SEE. She believed (yep past tense) that sign language affected reading and writing skill. I explained to her a lot. Deaf children would excel in English and sign language by language development at early ages plus teacher had to be able to use both English and sign language. Of course that's bilingual education. I also explained that I born hearing but became Deaf when I was 18 months old with meningitis, my Mum chosen BSL for me as first language at Thorn Park for the Deaf (bilingual edcation) but their education was so poor. I was supposed to learn at same age level which I really didn't. All my hearing teachers weren't like Deaf teacher who knows best. Their teaching should be for babies. So my Mum found out and not happy with my literacy skill, so at 11, I was transfered to the mainstream which wasn't strong enough for me as my English was slowly better since I was 11. Although mines much better since 16. I realised that I should use both BSL and English at same level.

I teached GSL to that woman, it was more relaxable. Better than an awkwardly form -SEE. Plus GSL saved my sore eyes.

At the moment, my English is same level as SSE users meaning my English need a lot of work on because I respect and admire English unlike most SSE users on BSL. May I excel in English one day? Unlikey but I would be happy if mines get better and better.